DOUG’S TALES
ESTATE AGENTS

*warning - Adult content*

I’m making coffee when I hear car doors opening, and when I check, I see agents showing people ’round Doug’s spot, which is great to see.

I head back inside, but moments later, I hear loud, hard banging on Doug’s metal gate. I go back to the front of the house only to see Bayanda’s dad yelling: Who’s car is this?

So I tell him it’s the agents’. The guys checking out Doug’s spot.

He just keeps on yelling and banging on the gate, and from where I’m standing, I can see people looking out of Doug’s shattered windows.

He’s screaming :”Can’t park this here! Park these cars there! There!”, stabbing his finger in the direction of the little stretch of grass across from Anthony’s.

Then one of the Real Estate Guys comes out. He nervously moves his car. All the while Bayanda’s dad’s still screaming.

Grace’s walking down the street. I see she’s just back from church, so while all this is going on, we start chatting. I ask her if the kid’s home. Because the little guy owes me, I lent him R25 this morning, charging him R1 a day interest.
But more importantly, I want to ask him to go get me sugar at Karim’s.
Grace smiles, she tells me to not stress, she’ll just give me some. Anyway, she doesn’t think he’s around, he’s probably off smoking weed with the dodgy kids from the other side of the railway.

So, I’m very grateful, it’s hot and I really don’t feel like going over to Karrim’s. So I go ’round back, where there’s a low spot in the fence, and she hands me a cup of white.
So, I go inside, I need to finish doing my accounts.

Now, suddenly I hear screams, it sounds like runners going up the hill. When I look out, I can see it’s the 2 girls from the bottom, Michelle’s kids.

I hear them screaming that Angelo’s been shot in the head, they’re screaming that Mary, at the top, must call the cops.

Looking over the fence, I can see there are people down there. Looks like it’s Michelle, Simon, Wessell, others, there’s a coupla guys on the ground.
Then I can hear the little kids screaming from the top that Mary’s called the ambulance. When the other kid, Daniel, comes down, Sarah steps out to ask him if Mary’s called the cops.

Then Nandi takes the gap.

She bolts up the road. We run up after her, trying to signal to Mary and Sam coming down.

But it’s too late. Nandi’s past them.

Sarah follows her up. But since I know that getting her back in is going to be very difficult, I head back to the house. Putting Maus inside, I get my car keys. Sarah opens the gate, and I pull out.
Right beside me a CPF van skids, just missing me. It slides across Doug’s driveway, spraying gravel all over the agents’ car. I can hear the guy swearing at me, as he flies down the hill.
While me? I go up the hill, I’ve got to get Nandi.

At the top there’s another CPF van, and I ask if the guys inside have seen Nandi.
He says he hasn’t, but then he asked me if the 2nd guy with the panga’s came past me as I was coming up the hill, he says the cops on the way.

Cool. I’m glad to hear that, but then I go right, and just in front of me, I see 2 kids running up from the dip. It’s obvious they’ve just come out of the forest in the valley. So when I ask them, my fears are realized.
They say Nandi’s in the valley., which means I’m fucked, there’s no way I’ll find her in there.

I pull over into the spot where the road collapsed a couple of weeks back to let the ambulance and police car coming from Jacob’s Ladder side go past.

Suddenly, I see Nandi coming out of the bush behind me. I quickly reverse. When I open the door, she jumps in, covered in mud. Thankfully I start to head back.

Coming off the road at the top, I can see there are several Van’s, 2 ambulances, a couple of CPF cars, all parked at the bottom of the hill.
There’re a couple of people by our spot, so when I turn into the driveway, I can see Sarah talking to Grace, and just behind them, there’s a little bundle of agents and buyers huddled nervously together, watching the scene at the bottom of the hill.

I can’t help but laugh at their faces, the poor things look terrified.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.

The author

Nick Miles is a Durban based writer, with a zany and distinctive writing style.

He lives with his partner Sarah and their two dogs, Nandi, Maus and Ginger cat.